Ashes and Ghosts
by Clownfood
Summary: A building on fire. Yazoo can't just walk by, can he? The children. They're screaming...Yazoo ends up at Tifas care. What will she do? can you kill someone just for looking like somebody else?
1. One last breath

AUTHORS INCOHERENT NOTES

Okay, this is going to be a weird one. You remember my idea about Yazoo being sick? If you've read any of the "Holding my thoughts inside"-novels, you would. If you haven't – read them! Anyhow, he has a problem with his lungs, right? With the shortness of breath and the coughing and the oh BLOOD in his spit. Right. Then. My vision of the brothers is that they are all but evil, just trying to do their thing. Alright. Then… what if a certain building was on fire? I wrote it in a kind of weird way. To try to describe the stess. Not sure if it worked.

* * *

ASHES AND GHOSTS

Yazoo heard the screams blocks away. He would have ignored them. He SHOULD have ignored them. He had more important things to do. But they were so desperate. So full of pain and agony that he could not possibly walk by. He knew already from the smell of smoke that the building was on fire. A small gathering stood around the large wooden house, trying desperately to put out the raging flames with what small tools they had, small buckets and a old house. They never stood a chance. The fire laughed at the humans puny attempt to take away it's power and might.

An old woman grabbed Yazoos arm, causing him to flinch in surprise at this uncommon touch. He was very uncomfortable with other people then his brothers touching him. A side-affect of a childhood spent as a lab-rat. The woman didn't notice though. She looked up at Yazoo – her smoke-stained red eyes meeting his feline with nothing but a plea.

"The children" she cried, sobbing "The children are tapped! They can't get out. Oh please gods have mercy. The children!"

A man came up to the woman and unhooked her hand from Yazoos sleeve, giving him an apologizing look. He took the woman into his arms and she turned around and buried her face in his shoulders and wept.

"The children" she sobbed "They can't move. Can't move"

"Why can't they move?" Yazoo quietly asked the man.

"Their all sick" the man answered "Bedridden"

It landed like a punch. Yazoo knew. He heard no screams from the children trapped inside. They were too weak to even scream. He watched the peoples futile attempts to get into the house or suffocate the flames. He knew. He knew what it felt like. To look death in the eye and know you could get away if just your lungs would be able to fill enough for that one scream. Or that you could run away – away to safety, if just for legs would bear your weight. He knew the pain of being denied air.

A girl came running. Her hair was dark and her eyes huge with fear.

"Denzel!" she cried out "Sarah!"

Yazoo stopped her.

"How many are in there? Do you know?"

She looked up at him with eyes too deep for a girl her age. Even though they were filled with tears, they appeared mature.

"Denzel" she sobbed "And Sarah. And Benjamin"

He shouldn't have done it. He had so many other things to do. But he did it anyway. He pushed the people out of the way, and with an inhuman jump, the landed on the lower roof . He smashed a window open with his bare hand. Smoke and flames poured out, trying to keep him from entering. He covered his mouth with one masked hand, ignored the heat and stepped inside what used to be a hallway. Now it was as if one corridor of Lucifer's palace had broken loose and reappeared in an orphanage in Midgar. Three doors. One open. Two closed. Even over the roaring of the fire did his improved hearing pick up the faint sound of breathing behind one door. He kicked it in without hesitating. The flames had only reached the door of this room. Yazoo searched the room quickly, the smoke staining his eyes and lungs. A closet. He opened the slide-door, to find a blond boy, about 4 years old, tightly hugging a stuffed rabbit. Obviously, the child had manage to drag himself out of bed and into the closet. Yazoo found a small blue t-shirt in the closet, he put it over the child's mouth and picked him up. Quickly and hunched down to avoid the smoke, he headed back for the window in the hallway. He stepped out on the roof, not putting the child down to avoid the shards of glass that were scattered all around. His lungs filled with air for the first time in 40 seconds. Time seemed to move so slowly, yet it was fast running out. He suffocated a coughing-spasm.

"Not now. Not NOW!" He thought.

A man ran up and cached the boy as Yazoo carefully dropped him down from the roof. He could hear the little girls relieved voice as she cried out : "Benjamin!" then he went back in.

* * *

The open door. He ran into it. Paused in the door. Awful. The flames had yet to reach the body, but the girl had suffocated. Shards of glass were scattered all over the room and had pierced the small body. She bled from several wounds of different sizes The window had exploded – sending pieces of burning hot glass flying over the room.. Judging from the position of the body - it had not occurred before death. The sheets were twisted, the body looked as if it had tried to escape the bulging window. Not much he could do. He still picked her up, covered her small bloody body with the sheet so that the other children wouldn't see. He also picked up a half-melted doll that nested in the sheets. It's golden-blonde hair was only tangled of blood in one place.

Out the window. Hand the body to the man. Whisper "the girl". Try to breath. A cough. "Not NOW!" Regain control. Get inside. One more. Just one. In the window. The last door, the furthest away from the fire which was coming up the stairs. Burst inside the room.

* * *

A bed. Some toys. Several crayon drawings. A boy on the bed. Still conscious. His tired eyes shifted too Yazoo as he advanced on the bed. His eyes were blue. Deep. He tried to lift his arms up to Yazoo but he didn't have the strength.

"I'll die now, right?" The boy almost smiled.

Yazoo shook his head. Where did the boy get the air to talk? Yazoo couldn't breath. He picked up the child. He felt. Heavy. Strange.

A huge brawl as the fire claimed another victory. The floor in the hallway was gone. Fire shot up in it's place. Could he jump the distance? No other way out. Jumped. Almost missed. One hand on the collapsing facade. Got out. Air. Jumped again. Landed on the ground. Safe.

Yazoo put the boy on the ground, people immediately crowded around the small body. The girl cried "Denzel! Denzel!" Yazoo tried his to breath. But no air would fill his lungs. He coughed, kneeling on the ground supporting himself with his hands. Coughed and coughed. A worried voice. Then several. Someone called "Get some water!" another shouted "That's the guy! He saved the kids!" Hand on his body, trying to help.

"Let go. Don't touch me. Let go" No air to form the words. Claustrophobia. A female voice: "Step aside! Step aside! Give him some air!"

The hands released his body. Thank gods. He fell. Rested his face against the mako-warm soil. No air. A shadow kneeled beside him. The female voice "Oh dear gods…". A blurry face, blue eyes. Terrified.

Darkness.

* * *

Tifa looked into that all to familiar face and those all to familiar eyes.

"Oh dear Gods…" she whispered.

Then the silver-haired mans eyes fell shut.

* * *

Yeah, eh, I was almost planning to kill Yazoo, but I feel a nice story brewing here. Please review and tell me what you think. A second chapter? Yes? No? Thanks for reading!

Music listened to during the making of this fic:

Ivy – Worry about you

Melissa Williamson – You're not here

Akira Yamaota – Promise

True

Overdose delusion

Laura

And yes, I completely stole the title "Ashes and Ghosts" from a Akira Yamaota song!


	2. Snow

AUTHORS NOTES: Wow! I got such a quick response to this story that I wrote a really long chapter for you all! Yay to me who is such a creative and good girl! Although not much Yazoo in this chapter (but more NUDITY yay!) but there will be in the next – cross my heart and hope to die (I swear, that is)! Now, for some PERSONAL correspondence:

Vampire Toy wanted some MarleneXYazoo (because vampire toy is a little perv?  But no biggie because SO AM I so it just might happen! All fluffy and pink and nice! Nothing R-rated mind you…).

DrAgOnus gave the first encouraging review almost instantly after I posted the story and it made me SOOO happy (although I didn't understand all that about fandomness and what-not, but no worry!)

SweetSnowCherryBlossomDarkness (who's username ROCKS btw…) gave a really outstanding review which really touched me. It did. Sniffle

Sheridan; Taro also made me very, very happy and emotionally unstable! 

And for Mitsoku Soma (sorry if I miss-spelled that) here is your update! Yay! Rejoice! (alright alright I know I'm not THAT good got a little full of myself there)

AND NOW the moment you've all skipped ahead to; the actual second chapter!

* * *

She'd never felt so broken and confused in her entire life. Somehow, everything seemed unfocused and time moved too fast one minute only to slow down abnormally the next. Seventh heaven was lost. Only the façade of the house remained. And Sarah. Tifa couldn't bear the thought of the little girls pain and anguish as the flames closed in on her and glass rained over her already so broken body. 

Cloud didn't answer his phone. _Did she scream?_** "**Leave a message after the beep and…"_ For him?_ Another message like the three before_ For me?_ She needed to find a warmer sweater for Denzel. _How long did she live after…?_ Was anyone hungry?_Her sheets – so much blood._ What? Yes, she'd seen Benjis rabbit somewhere. _Her eyes … staring. _No, no it'll be fine she'd handle it would you look for a sweater for Denzel? _How can I not have heard her!_

Tifa clutched the woollen sweater in her hands, burying her face in it's blue warm texture. She wanted to cry, she should cry. But she couldn't. The tears wouldn't come. She was used to death. She had lost, killed and watched people wither away in geostima for years but this, this was so brutal. So unfair. Unjust. And she couldn't cry.

"I'm awful" she whispered to the blue threads.

"Tifa?"

Tifa snapped her head up and looked down at Marlene, who watched her with innocent concern.

"Tifa, are you alright?" Marlene asked, placing one small hand on Tifas forearm "Do you want me to get you something?"

Tifa smiled. Sweet, sweet little Marlene. Always looking out for everyone. She was so much like Barrett you could never tell she wasn't his daughter… well, except for the colour of her skin of cause.

"I can take that sweater to Denzel if you like" Marlene continued "You could use some rest"

"Thanks sweetie, but I'll be fine" Tifa answered, stroking the girls soft hair "Did you want anything?"

"Oh yeah!" Marlene snapped her fingers as if she just remembered "Snow is moving around. I think he's waking up!"

"Snow?"

A brief moment of confusion. Then she understood. She dropped the sweater and ran.

* * *

She hadn't even tied him down. Not that she thought it would help if he was anything like… anything like _him. _With all the confusion and stress of getting the children together and moving to temporary house (Aeris old home … Cloud would not approve but Tifa didn't give a shit at the moment) and Sarahs death, she had made the strange man second priority. Some of the men who had helped out at the fire had carried him to Aeris house, assuming Tifa would like to help the saviour of her children herself. And there wasn't anyone else who could help him, really. 

Of cause, they couldn't know. Yes, the young man looked strange. Albino and feline eyes, but on the other hand, stranger things had emerged in Midgar due to Mako-reaction. And the people had forgotten Sephiroth. They did know about the meteor and the Weapons but not who was behind it all. In fact, very few people knew about Sephiroths return, and most of those people were either dead or Turks. The last official record of the supreme general was his assumed death in Nibelheim almost eight years ago. One article and a colour-photo of Sephiroth in his uniform. And with resent events, it's no wonder people had forgotten the face of their old childhood hero.

Tifa took the stairs in three steps, reaching the door to the small bed-room which must have belonged to Aeris. She stopped in the doorway, panting, eyeing the body which was neatly tucked in (Marlene?) beneath blue covers. Silver hair spilled over the pillow and hung over the edge of the bed. One arm was stretched out, clutching a tissue witch was stained red. The feminine face was turned to one side, facing Tifa, and in the soft backlight from the window the white skin almost seemed to… glow. She moved closer to the bed observing that someone had removed the mans leather-jacket, probably to make him more comfortable. Hovering over the bed, she thought he looked really fragile, with his long lashes and slim body. He was much more delicate then Sephiroth had been. And much younger, she realized. And with those coughing-spasms … he didn't look so dangerous.

She shook her head. She shouldn't be thinking that way! Best thing would be for her to kill him now, when he was weak, defenceless… Who knew what he could be like when he recovered? And that face, that hair, those eyes… she hadn't forgotten the death of her father, and her friends. Not to mention Zack and Aeris! No, she didn't want anyone to suffer like that again it would just be best if she…

"He seems to be breathing much better now"

Marlenes voice startled her and she quickly turned around to watch the girl advance towards the bed. She stopped next to Tifa, watching the mans face as she spoke.

"He coughed an awful lot before, blood and everything. I was really scared awhile and I know I should have gone to get you but you were so busy and I didn't want to leave him in case… you know" Marlene quickly looked up at Tifa before turning back to the bed "But it got better and I gave him some water but he couldn't drink much of it and then he fell asleep like this but last time I was in he moved around so I thought he was waking up so I got you"

"That's good Marlene" Tifa said mechanically "You did really good"

Marlene smiled and adjusted the mans pillow which caused him to move slightly.

"I call him Snow" Marlene continued happily "I know it's kind of silly, but it suits him, don't you think? With his white hair and all. I wonder how it got so white. Anyways, I like to call him _something_ you know. Saying "that guy" or something like that is so impolite but since I don't know his name…"

"Snow is fine Marlene" Tifa said to humour the child "At least until we get to know his name"

Marlene just nodded. She fell silent as she watched the sleeping, young version of the face Tifa hated so much. Then she turned to the brunette, here eyes old and serious… sad.

"You know, they would all have died if it wasn't for him" Marlene said quietly, looking Tifa straight in the eye "Now … Sarah… But it could have been Benji and Denzel too. But it's not. And that's something to be happy about, isn't it? You should have seen him running into the house Tifa! You should have seen him!"

Denzel called for her downstairs. Marlene answered "Coming!" and rushed out the door. Tifa stood staring at the pale face.

_They would all have died if it wasn't for him_

* * *

Loz walked around irritably kicking up dirt as his huge body paced from one side of the small shore to the other. 

"It's not like him to be late" he suddenly exclaimed "Where the hell is he?"

"Don't swear Loz, its bad manner _and_ a sing of weak vocabulary" Kadaj scolded solemnly, his back resting against one of the huge glowing tree-trunks by the small water stream. One of his hands was un-gloved and it stroked the grass slowly, white fingers against green. His eyes were closed and he almost smiled.

"I like it here" he said "It feels nice and warm. Don't you like coming here?"

"Well, yeah, but I'm still worried"

Loz didn't notice his brother's spaced-out tone and sudden change of subject – he was used to it by now.

"Worried? Why?" Kadajs head moved slightly to the side, his eyes opening to look up at his older brother.

"Because Yazz isn't here yet" Loz explained "I have a bad feeling"

"You know, brother, so do I" Kadaj placed one hand over his chest, staring out into the sky as if he knew something … a secret. Loz looked at him and felt a sudden chill down his spine.

Kadaj got to his feet, brushing dirt of his clothes. He turned to Loz, something of his old self in those eyes.

"Alright, let us go find our lost brother" he said "I have a feeling he's…"

He then shook his head and headed for the bikes. Loz followed, more worried now then ever.

* * *

AUTHOR AGAIN 

Eh… perhaps I made this chapter a little TOO long… since nothing really happens… But… yeah… anyhow, much more exciting events in the next chapter (I've already started on it!) but please, review and tell me what you think about this one.

I know it was a lot of Tifa but it'll matter later on…

Thank you for reading!

Music for this chapter:

Yoko Kannon - Stragers

Cory Taylor - Bother


	3. With eyes wide open

AUTHORS FREAKING NOTES: Sorry it took so long for me to finish this! I had real problem with it and took my sweet time and all and STILL it didn't end up the way I wanted it to. But hopefully you will bare with me and consider reading the next chapter.

SO MANY special thanks to Sheridan; Taro, who left such a heart-warming comment on a entirely different story, but it's due to that comment that I ever finished this chapter (danke!)! As always; cherryblossometc. and vampiretoy left really uplifting comments as well! (ps. No Marlene in this chapter, but she'll show, and so will Cloud!)

Okay, let's get ON WITH IT!

* * *

Tifa checked on "Snow" on a regular basis. If nothing else, the man took her mind of Sarah. The funeral was soon to be held, the children were heartbroken but they handled it well. Sadly enough, they were used to death and met it with astonishing courage. Somehow, it made the whole thing worse. An old lady and friend of Tifa, Jessy, had come to stay with them during this difficult time. Tifa was happy to have her around. It gave her time to think. About Snow. She always entered the pink-painted room with the intention of killing the man. Then she ended up standing by the bed, watching the sleeping face, thinking _"They are alive because of him. They would all have died. I owe him more then anyone on this planet!"_ but that face! Those eyes! She couldn't let it go. She had seen blood-lust and insanity in those eyes. And she had feared them so much. She sat down on the bed, facing the window, looking out into the pale evening light, thinking, trying to decide right from wrong. Sephiroth wasn't always evil… he'd been like any other person until Nibelheim. Cloud had told her a few stories of his time with the general. Insight drove him insane. What if this man was not like Sephiroth? What if it was all a coincidence? No, no… too unlikely, with that face.

Perhaps he was a clone? Tifa had seen a few in Nibelheim, but none of those half-humans had been nearly as refined as this … creature. And even if he was, could she kill someone just for _looking_ like someone else? What about moral standards? Oh, fuck them, what would she tell Marlene?

Snow moved. Tifa – startled – jumped off the bed and watched as the man slowly turned his head … and open his radiant eyes. He looked straight at her. Tifa froze on the spot. A thousand thoughts went through her head at one – the most clear one being where the hell Cloud was and why he still wasn't answering his cell-phone. They stared at each other in silence, while Tifa tried to decide whether to kill him or thank him. Snow made the decision for her by rubbing his eyes and whispering;

"Are they alright?"

Tifa was caught of guard and didn't comprehend.

"What?"

"The children" Snow clarified "Are they alright?"

"Uh… yes. They are" was Tifas tame answer.

"I'm sorry" the man continued, his hand tracing the side of his face.

"What?"

"I'm sorry… about the girl"

"Sarah"

"Yes. I apologize and I wish to tell you my condolences"

"Yeah. Thank you" Tifa responded, confused "Not much you could have done to help her though"

The man gave a faint nod and then, while brushing a long strain of silver hair out of his face, he looked at Tifa again.

"I … might I perhaps have some water?" he asked, his voice still low.

"Yes, of cause! I'm sorry!" Tifa exclaimed and quickly moved to the small desk where Marlene had placed a water-glass. It was a little warm, but it would have to do. Tifa didn't like the thought of leaving the man unguarded. She handed the man the glass. He took it without touching her fingers. He heaved himself up a little and then carefully sipped the water. Tifa watched him slowly drink half of it. Then he coughed and put it away on the bedside-table.

"Thank you" he said.

"You're welcome" Tifa answered.

Sitting up a little more, his back against the wall, he seemed to notice that his jacked had been removed. He pulled the blankets up to cover is shoulders in a series of movements that to Tifa seemed very feminine. Like a woman concealing her breasts. The man scanned the room with his green eyes, probably looking for his clothes.

"If you don't mind me asking" Tifa started and he turned her attention back to her, covers and legs pulled up "But what is your name?"

He looked at her for a moment like if he considered not telling her.

"Yasu" he finally said "But everyone miss-pronounces it Yazoo. So I guess… Yazoo"

"Just… Yazoo?" Tifa had expected something more along the line of… well, Sephrahim or Seth.

"Yes."

"I'm Tifa. Tifa Lockheart. I ran the orphanage" She said, smiling weakly "Thank you for… everything you did"

Yazoo just nodded. Silence fell between them again. He didn't seem… hostile or violent. Quite the opposite really. But he might just be acting so that he… so that he … what? Yazoo looked out the window behind her and slightly turned his head to one side.

"Where… are we, exactly?" he asked with his soft voice. At first Tifa had thought that his throat was just sore, but now she realized he spoke in that soft, hazy way.

"Midgar… Sector five. By the flower-gardens, if you know about them?"

"I thought the smell was different" he mumbled to himself.

"So… are you… feeling any better?" Tifa asked while staring some pointless rearrangement of some small glass animals on a shelf to avoid those eyes.

"Yes" Yazoos gaze did not stir from the window "A little tired but I'm… alright."

"I think the smoke really got to you" Tifa continued while aimlessly moving the glass-animals around "You had a couple of serious coughing-fits. I almost thought you wouldn't pull trough"

_Which would have made everything oh so much easier._

"It wasn't the smoke" he said quietly, the pale light from the window reflecting in his feline eyes "I'm constantly dying"

Tifa could barley make out the words, which he probably spoke more to himself then to her. She watched him in the corner of her eye as he shifted his position, placing one long-fingered and on his draped chest and lowering his head so that a curtain of silver covered his face. His body shivered. No, no, it he wasn't shivering, Tifa realized. He was laughing.

"He will be so angry with me" Yazoo spoke silently, still laughing in the same low volume.

"Who?" Tifa turned to him, curious, scared.

"Kadaj" Yazoo raised his head just enough to look at her from underneath all that hair "My brother"

"Your… brother?" Tifas heart stopped. _There's more of them!_

"Yes, my younger brother" Yazoo continued "He is somewhat our… I don't know"

"_Our_!" Tifa repeated, sounding a lot more startled then she had intended.

"Yes" Yazoo turned his full attention to her "Me and my older brother"

"You… you have two brothers?" Tifa was staring at him, eyes wide with fear. He didn't seem to notice.

"Three" Yazoo corrected "But one is missing. Probably dead by now"

Tifa couldn't breath. Her mouth went dry. Her head buzzed. Three or four of these, these _creatures!_ What would she do? What could she do? She had to kill him! Kill all of them! Before… before what?

"Do you know where they are?" Tifa asked, her voice shaking "I'm … I'm sure they're worried about you, and would like to know where you are, so if you told me I could… contact them … or something"

Yazoo looked up on her, his eyes locking with hers from underneath his bangs. He smiled.

"Don't worry. They'll find me"

* * *

AUTHOR AGAIN (Does she ever shut up?); Okay, lot of dialouge. As always, tell me your thoughts! (Preview for the next chapter; Could returns only to find his home burnt to the ground! And what is his opinion of the silver-haired visitor? And Marlene makes cookies! Can it get any more exiting? ) Thanks for reading! 


	4. Feel

AUTHORS RAMBLING NOTES: Alright! Look what a good girl I am and how fast I updated this for all of you! Yay to me! Anyhow, this chapter (or the last part of it) is somewhat dedicated to Vampire Toy! And that doesn't mean I don't love all of you equally, but he made me the sweetest AMV inspired by Ashes and ghosts, and that was just too sweet! (yes, I lack synonyms) And to a Matchbox twenty song, non the less!

As usual, I appreciated all your lovely reviews! And welcome to devinedragon who somewhat review-bombed be yesterday:)Hope you'll stay with me! Oh well, ONWARD to the story!

* * *

The untrained eye wouldn't spot it. It was just a twitch, a small widening of the eyes and a effort to wet his lips as his mouth went dry. Other then that, there was no change in the carefully resembled façade of Cloud Strife. But he was chocked. Slowly he stepped of his bike, unto the sot-stained ground which used to be his front yard. Of cause people had hurried to his side to tell him the grave news and the good ones. Sarah was dead. Tifa was alright. That's about all the information he absorbed. Some in the small gathering of people talked about a heroic man who had saved the children, but he didn't listen. He just watched the scene and felt… nothing. Why? Sarah was dead. He tried the thought out. Nothing. Had he really become this insensitive? Was he so accustomed to grief that he no longer felt it?

Burned buildings… it did something to him. He didn't stand watching those blackened skeletons.

He walked back to his bike, consoling and assuring as many people he could with as few words as he could on the way.

"Tell Tifa I'll be home soon" he told a woman he knew was a friend of Tifa "I have one more thing to take care of"

"But…!" the woman tried, but Cloud had already started his engine and driven off in a cloud of sot, smoke and dust.

"Poor boy" an old woman said, shaking her head.

* * *

"Peculiar"

Kadaj stopped dead in his tacks. Loz almost bumped into him but managed to avoid it by almost falling backwards instead.

They had left their bikes on the foot of some mountain and climbed for almost four hours. Kadaj was unusually slow in his movements, and he wouldn't tell Loz where they were going and if it had something to do with finding Yazoo. Finally, they had reached a clearing with a remarkable view of the landscape below.

"What is?" He asked, trying to locate what Kadaj was looking at.

"Somehow it stronger up here" Kadaj said, placing one hand on his stomach "I didn't expect it to be so. It's peculiar. Usually it weakens the higher up you get, but here it's grown stronger"

"What has?" Loz was on the brink of crying, that's how frustrated he was with this.

"The feeling" Kadaj answered.

It was meant as an explanation, but Loz didn't feel non the wiser. But he stopped asking questions. He didn't understand the answers anyway. Yazoo and Kadaj were closer to each other then he was. He just had to rely on that that bound between them was strong enough to lead Kadaj to Yazoo, even in his somewhat odd state. His mind always seemed to drift now days. Either that or he was so focused it was scary. Those were the times when he could become dangerous, but right now Loz would be willing to risk it for some logic in this search.

Kadaj hand closed his eyes, turning his face towards the ever-clouded sun. A strong breeze whipped his hair around his face and he looked somewhat angelic where he stood. When the wind had passed, he opened his eyes and looked at Loz. A sparkle of energy in one of those intense eyes told Loz that maybe he had wished for more then he could handle.

"I know where to find him" Kadaj told his older brother "But things just might get a little complicated"

* * *

Yazoo felt a slight change in pace, like someone was pulling at his heart. Kadaj. They were coming. It was sooner then Yazoo had expected. He had hoped to regain some strength before having to face his brothers. At least enough to be able to walk or stand up straight for longer periods. The smoke combined with his usual condition had gotten to him more then he had at first been willing to admit. He was really tired. But he didn't want to sleep. Something in his innkeepers behaviour had tipped him of that not everything was right here. He hadn't been able to pinpoint what she felt though. And it consumed him. She looked at him like she knew him. Why?

"Hello!"

A small brown-haired head popped up behind the foot-side of the bead. Yazoo gave away a small "eep" and pushed backwards into the bed-frame. He hadn't noticed the girl coming in. He must be worse of then he had first thought!

"Did I scare you? Sorry!" The girl smiled and walked around the bed to where he was sitting "How are you feeling?"

"Um, better" Yazoo said, unsure of how to act. He wasn't used to children. In fact, he had probably never talked to a child before in his entire life.

"I'm glad!" The girl said, putting a tray down on the nightstand "I made you cookies!"

Yazoo was absolutely puzzled.

"Here!" she handed him one "Their raisin-oatmeal 'cause we didn't have any nuts. Hope you like raisin"

Raisin? What the hell was raisin? He carefully took the small cookie out of her hand, cautious not to touch her skin. He didn't like skin-contact with other people.

"Thank you" he said, expecting her to leave.

She did not. Instead she stood there, smiling, her glittering eyes fixed upon him. Yazoo looked back at her, not knowing what was expected by him.

"Well?" she said "Aren't you going to try it?"

"Yes, of cause" Yazoo mumbled. He took a bird-like bite of the cookie, carefully chewing it. It was sweet. _Really_ sweet for something containing oatmeal. But it wasn't bad.

"Well?" the girl urged "Do you like it?"

"Yes, thank you. Their very good" Yazoo answered, hoping he was being polite enough.

"I made them all by my self!" she claimed "I didn't let anyone help me"

"You are very accomplished" Yazoo complimented.

The girl smiled and blushed.

Yazoo quietly finished his cookie.

"My name is Marlene" the girl said when Yazoo was done, her eyes still fixed upon him.

"Nice to meet you" Yazoo replied "I'm…"

"Yazoo, I know!" Marlene said jumping onto the bed, much to Yazoos horror. But she didn't come closer, she just sat down.

"It's a little funny, your name" she continued.

"It is?" Yazoo responded. How could a name be funny?

"Yeah, well, maybe not funny" Marlene corrected herself, not wanting to hurt his feelings "It's… different. I never heard about anyone named _Yazoo_ before"

"Well, I never heard about anyone named _Marlene_ before"

"Really? It's not all that unusual"

"I never heard it"

"That's weird"

Yazoo left at that. Marlene switched her position, pulling her legs underneath her.

"Your hair is really long" she pointed out.

"So is yours" Yazoo replied.

"Not as long as yours" she said "Besides you're a boy. And I have never seen such long hair on a boy before"

"Well, I like it long" Yazoo said, letting one hand run trough a lash of sliver hair.

"I like it too" Marlene said quietly.

Yazoo suddenly became aware that she was studying him. He didn't much care for it, naked as he felt without his jacket and shirt. He crossed both his arms over his chest, averting his eyes from hers.

"Oh, are you cold?" Marlene asked "I guess Tifa forgot to bring you clothes. I'm sorry! She's just been really busy with everything happening and all. I'll go get you a sweater!"

Then she quickly hurried out into the hall and down the stairs. Much to his own surprise, Yazoo found himself smiling.

* * *

AUTHOR NEVER SHUTS THE HELL UP: There you have it! Hope you liked it vampire toy! Sorry about the short cloud part. He'll show up a little later. And yes he's being a bastard in this chapter for not going straight to Tifa but as always, he has his reasons. Anyhow, does anyone care what Loz and Kadaj are up to or should I just leave them out of it until they actually matter for the story? Tell me your divine thoughts! As always, thanks for redaing!

Music for this chapter; Matchbox 20 "Disease", "Unwell", "All I need", Colin Hay "Overkill", Guided by voices "Hold on hope"


	5. Within my heart of memories

AUTHORS BELOVED NOTES: Okay, took me a while to finish this chapter, sorry everybody! This was supposed to be an angsty-chapter, but instead it turned out kind of funny (or one part it funny, I was snickering writing it!) don't hate me for it okay? STILL no Cloud in this chapter, I know I promised but soon, soooooon. He's just such a complicated fellow.

Some personal notes;

VampireToy, the sweet little darling, made me another heart-warming AMV! I love it thank you so much! And you were totally right about the music!  Looking forward to that fan art! Hope I'll keep on inspiring you love, you sure make this story fun to write!

(that goes for all you wonderful reviewers!)

SweetSnowCherry…etc; Glad I could make you happy! Weeee! Now that makes me feel happy! Everybody wins! Hope you'll like this chapter as well!

Onward to the story!

* * *

Yazoo felt better but he was so tired most of the time. He had tried walking around the small room, to the window and back, and his legs carried his weight, but it tired him. But he didn't sleep. He couldn't sleep. It felt like something was… changing. Something was different somewhere but he couldn't pinpoint where or what, and it scared him. At night, when the house was quiet expect from the slow breathings and occasional choughs from the children, he warped himself as tightly as he could in the covers and blankets, hiding in the warm darkness beneath the soft fabric. At those times, he was scared. And he didn't know of what. He just knew he was scared and he wished for Kadaj and Loz to come find him soon, because without them he wasn't safe. None of them was. This was possibly the longest they had ever been apart.

* * *

Kadaj could feel it whenever he moved. He tired easily. And the smells had changed. Or possibly it was his sense of smell because Loz said he couldn't smell anything different, but then again, it was Loz, and he usually never paid attention to anything. Staring up at the clouded night-sky, listening to his brother murmuring in his sleep, Kadaj wondered over the fact that he couldn't rest. His body was tired, but his mind was alert, constantly alert. He couldn't relax his thoughts. Perhaps that was why he couldn't sleep. Or maybe he was worried, for his brothers. What would become of them without him? And he was scared and there was no one to confide in. He hadn't told his brothers. He didn't want his burden to be theirs as well. 

_It's a peculiar feeling_ he addressed the un-seen stars _to be born only to nourish the dead. Live only to be someone else. _

He turned his head, watching Loz in his uneasy sleep. He made faces and grumbled, dreaming. Kadaj placed a hand on his brothers face, tracing those lines which was so like his own, and yet so different. Loz muttered something and turned around, but he settled down. Kadaj smiled tiredly.

_Will I die? Will what is me, my soul if you will, seize to be? Or was I never an individual to begin with? These feelings, these memories, these thoughts, do they mean anything? Or will they all die with me?_

He curled up against Lozs warm back, closing his eyes and admitting to seeking comfort. Loz was so strong, he seemed almost invulnerable at times. Yazoo, on the other hand, was fragile and delicate. What was left for him? Was he a mix of both, or neither?

_But you will not die, my brothers, you will not die. And so I will live with your memories. _

He could actually sleep for several hours that night.

* * *

There was someone in the building that did not belong there. Yazoo sharpened his senses, trying to identify the perpetrator. There were three of them, and they could not be friends of Tifa, for friends don't go in through windows. They where passing through the kitchen, into the living room. Going through drawers and cupboards. Quietly, Yazoo slipped out of bed. Dressed in a pair of borrowed, too big black pants and the black turtleneck Marlene had brought him (which, according to the size-label, was a female model and probably belonged to Tifa) he walked down stairs. He didn't try to sneak up on them, he just moved silently by nature so the sneaking-part was just a natural result. 

"What are you doing, if I may ask?" he said quietly.

All three men jumped and snapped their heads around to locate the owner of the smooth voice. Standing in the dark doorway, his silver-hair framing his black-clothed shape and his eyes glowing with that inverted green he was quite the sight, and the men, rough and by the smell dirty, was dumbfounded at this appearance. Then one of the men dropped a cart he was trying to carry off and hissed to the others; "Come one! It's just a girl!"

It was Yazoo's turn to be dumbfounded. Sure, he was slim and his hair might be a bit long but he was quite tall to match so… what? They took him for a woman?

The other two men started to advance on him, trying to push him back up the staircase. Yazoo's eyes functioned well in the dark, and he could all too clearly see the unpleasant looks in the two men's eyes. They where smiling.

"Come on, sweetness" one of them purred, half laughing "Don't make a fuss. Come over here to Mr. Charlie and maybe we won't hurt you"

"You might even like it" the other one finished, hunger radiating from his eyes.

Suddenly, Yazoo realized that these men was planning on raping him. He had to hold his breath not to burst into violent laughter. This might be one of the most bizarre things that had ever occurred to him.

"I would prefer if you would be so kind to put everything back and leave peacefully" Yazoo answered after regaining control of him self "There are sick children trying to sleep here"

Both the men laughed. They had come really close now, and Yazoo hadn't moved an inch. All of a sudden he wondered if it would be wise to let him self be cornered, regarding his current state and all. And these men looked quite strong. But seeing how they seemed to think he was a woman, he had the element of surprise at his side, and that could probably count for a lot.

"Don't be so cold, love" the man who referred to himself as Mr. Charlie´ said "We won't wake the kids if you don't"

"So be reeeeally quiet, ok, darling?" the other one smirked.

They where so close to him now, how could they _not_ notice? And couldn't they hear it in his voice?

"Very well, it's a fair deal" the answered, amused "I won't scream if you won't"

"That's my girl" Charlie said, and launched at Yazoo.

Yazoo hadn't been paying attention to him, but to the other man who was stealing everything of value in the building. Therefore, he didn't have enough time to pull away when Charlie's hand grabbed a rough hold on his wrist. The familiar disgust as the unknown mans skin touched his own flared up inside Yazoo and he felt sick all of a sudden. He twisted out of the mans grip and grabbed a hold of Charlies arm and before the perpetrators even had time to grasp Yazoo threw the man onto the other man, using way more strength then he had intended on. Both men slid over the floor and into the kitchen, coming to a stop first when they hit the tile-wall.

"I'm not a girl" Yazoo growled under his breath before turning his attention to the man third man who was currently standing in the middle of the room just staring at the silver-haired youngster.

"Now you put that down carefully" Yazoo whispered "Otherwise…"

The man did indeed put the box down, but only to pull up a gun. Shaking, he aimed it at Yazoo, who just smiled at his futile attempts at defending himself. Although sick and weakened, a common thief with a gun was no hassle for Mako-regenerated person. But he still stopped. He didn't want the man to fire and hit something. Or wake the kid's up. Yazoo was just about to try and reason with the man, when a soft tschunk was heard and he fell down, unconscious. Behind him stood Tifa with a heavy candelabra in her hand.

"Fucking bastards!" she growled "Stealing from sick kids! Disgusting sewer-rats!"

"What do we do with them?" Yazoo asked.

"There's some rope outside. We'll tie them up and leave them in sector 5, the sector-police will probably pick them up" she said, sitting down in a red armchair.

* * *

Yazoo did as she had told without asking anything. She didn't offer to help. He didn't ask. Something was different with her this night. He could sense it. He was good at reading people. When he returned after a not completely uncomplicated prison-transport, she was still sitting in the arm-chair, staring out one of the big windows. 

"I see you're well enough to walk around now" Tifa noted, without looking at him.

"Yes" Yazoo answered plainly, not knowing what else to say about the obvious.

"I guess I have to thank you again for looking out for my children" she continued "Thank you"

"I owe you for taking care of me" Yazoo responded.

_You don't know the half of it_ Tifa thought.

Then she burst into tears. Her body trembled and quiet tears streamed down her cheeks and dripped on her t-shirt. She didn't cover her face. She didn't hunch. She didn't make a sound aside from the ragged breaths. She sat there, staring out the window and cried in outmost silent despair.

Loz cried quite often, and he was easy to comfort. By nature, he didn't dwell long on anything and he called down quite quickly. Kadaj, on the other hand, never cried. Not even when they were children and all painful and horrible things were done to him. Only twice in his life had Kadaj cried, and Yazoo never understood why. Kadaj was harder to comfort. You hand to sit with him for hours, sometimes, until he fell asleep. It was like all the hurtful things he carried inside him were let out at once, flooding out of him. The way Tifa cried now reminded Yazoo of Kadaj and he knew he shouldn't leave. She didn't want to be alone, if she had, she would have moved or made him leave. She wanted someone to witness her emotions, and she wasn't ashamed. Yazoo moved closer, as close as he dared. He sat down on a foot-stool next to her. Had he been wearing his gloves, he would have touched her. But without them, the disgust of human contact was just too much, even in a situation like this. She looked at him quickly, as if to approve his presence, then turned back to the window.

"What the _hell_ does he have to take care of that is so fucking more important!" she spoke, her voice sore "Sarah is _dead._ He already missed the funeral and I have to take care of _everything_ on my own! All the children ask about him. They want him to comfort them! Hell, I want him here to comfort _me_, but it's not like that's gonna happen, because I always have to take care of everything! They ask about him and what am I supposed to say! No, he had more important things to do then to comfort you. I just…"

She broke off, overwhelmed by tears and spasms. Yazoo didn't reply to anything she'd said. He knew he wasn't supposed to. He didn't even know who she was talking about. But he listened. He sincerely listened and he tried his best to understand her feelings.

"I'm so tired" she managed to say "I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I don't want this anymore. Why does everything have to hurt so much?"

Yazoo almost, almost touched her. He pulled his hand back in the last moment. It was too much. He couldn't do it.

"All those children, upstairs" he spoke softly "They love you. Truly love you. I believe there must be some comfort in that"

Tifa stopped crying and turned to look at him with reddish eyes. She smiled vaguely, then she eyed him and started laughing.

"Why are you wearing my sweater?" she asked, some renegade tears still trailing from her eyes.

* * *

AUTHORS EXTENDED NOTES THAT NO ONE CARES TO READ: 

Okay, I ended this kind of freaky. There was more dialogue to it, but it just got weird. Again, this was supposed to be a ANGSTY chapter. I didn't really come trough there. I apologize to all you angst-lover out there, I'll try harder next time! Anyhow, I love Tifa, always has (only female main ff character I don't want to stab actually)! And I think she must have a lot of angst, trying to win Cloud over and always being there for him while he's constantly obsessing about Aeris. Stupid Cloud! Also, I hope no one minded me dressing him up in a girl's top. I figured since the seventh heaven burned, and they're at Aeris old house, and Aeris lived alone with her mom, there wouldn't be much male clothing lying around. Why doesn't he just wear his old clothes you ask? Well, it wouldn't be all to comfortable sleeping in leather, now would it? Okay, I think that might be all!

Oh! And all you sharp-eyed people might have noticed that the titles of the chapters are often (I think there's one exception) the names of Creed-songs! So I take no credit for the titels (except maybe one).


	6. Sacrifice

AUTHORS NOTES: OMG I'm so, SO SO SO sorry for how long it took me to write this! Everything's just been all messed up with moving again and new job and night-classes and all that crazy stuff! But that's just no excuse! I'm a bad bad person and I'm so sorry! Hope at least some of you will continue reading after this screw-up of mine! Again I'm so so so sorry! It's unforgivable!

Anyhow. I've had a lot of trouble with this chapter (Duh!) and it was really hard to write! Hopefully it doesn't show.

If you don't hate me too much by now, please enjoy this VERY delayed chapter. AGAIN! SORRY!

* * *

The encounter with the three men had proved a strain on Yazoos already fragile health and he was once again bed-ridden for a day or two. Marlene waited on him and foot during this time, bringing him food and extra sweaters (still Tifas) juice, books and various other items to Yazoos great disapproval. He didn't want to be a bother, and he didn't _need _four wool sweaters but thank you anyway and no, no more juice please. It got so bad that Tifa actually had to tell Marlene to stay away from Yazoo because he would never have any time to get better if she didn't let him rest. After sleeping for almost 24 hours Yazoo felt strong enough to walk around the house, to Marlenes outmost joy.

To Tifas surprise Yazoo actually proved a big help around the house. Not much as doing the heavy work, but he was a distraction, both for her and for the children. He did his part and quietly aided Tifa. He was very quiet, she noticed. He didn't speak unless he was spoken to, most of the time, but Tifa assumed he listened all the more and those feline eyes didn't seem to miss anything. But not once did he touch Tifa, of any of the children. In fact, he seemed to shy away from the slightest threat of human contact. It was quite an odd behaviour and Tifa wondered a lot of the origin of it watching Yazoo silently slipping out of the way of running children.

He was still unnaturally tired though and would fall asleep instantly, half-way through a task. Several times Tifa had found him asleep on the floor by the sink, his hands still wet and a plate by his side. These sleeps were scary, quiet, and just as unnatural as the suddenness of their occurrences. With he slept like that Yazoo hardly breathed, his eyes didn't wonder underneath his eyelids and he was almost impossible to wake up. It worried Tifa more and more, for what if he was sick, and what if it was contagious? Tifa tried to speak with Yazoo about it, but he would give any satisfying answers.

* * *

One afternoon two weeks after the fire in Seventh Heaven, Tifa was making dinner and Yazoo was humouring Marlene by letting her show him some drawings she'd made. He came with polite little comments that made Marlene outshine the sun with pride. Tifa noticed that Yazoos voice was lower then usual, and a little sore. He'd had a coughing fit half an hour earlier and now there was a slight wheezing when he breathed. Tifa suddenly realized that something was really familiar with that wheezing.

"Yazoo" she said, immediately getting his full attention "How long have you had that chough of yours?"

"All my life" Yazoo responded.

"Does your chest hurt afterwards?" Tifa asked "Like, does it feel like there's a whole lot of grains of sand stuck in your throat and lungs which tares at your insides when you breathe?"

Yazoos eyes narrowed at this detailed metaphor. He turned his profile to her, placing one hand of his chest and closing his eyes, as if to really feel it trough, before responding.

"Yes, it does"

"I think you might have asthma" Tifa said triumphantly.

"Asthma?" Yazoo turned to her with surprise on his face.

"Yeah, I had it when I was a kid, so I know what it sounds like" Tifa continued "The condition is easily treated with the right medication. It's not even hard to get"

"That means that you can be all better!" Marlene cried, jumping up and down in front of Yazoo. He, however, seemed lost in thought. His eyes narrowed and he frowned, pushing a long strain of silver hair out of his face.

"But that can't be" he mumbled "It's so simple. Surly the professors should have …. Unless… "

His head snapped up, his eyes wide with the realization.

"Unless they kept me ill on purpose"

Something changed in Yazoos eyes. They became hard, cold, angry – so much like…

"Tifa?"

She snapped her head around to the front door as that familiar voice called her name. A dark-dressed figure stepped into the room, his huge sword hanging from his back and dust covering his clothes. His blue eyes caught hers for just a millisecond and she saw his pain, then Cloud noticed the silver-haired man sitting at Aeris dining-table. Yazoo had half-risen from his seat as if to greet the man that had to be this Cloud of which Tifa so often spoke when she thought no one was listening. But when the blonde snapped to him and their eyes met in a clash of radiant green and glowing blue Yazoo felt something he hadn't felt in a long, long time. Fear. A cold chill ran down his spine and alerted his body of the danger. He was able to throw himself out of the way before Clouds blade cut the table in half at the place Yazoo had just been standing. Flashes of memories which wasn't his own ravaged his mind. A battle someplace else. Fire and screams. Those eyes, filled with hate. Why did he fear those eyes?

He manages to dodge the slashes of the mighty sword, but for how long? Automatically, his hand had reach for Velvet Nightmare, but his gunblade wasn't with him. He hadn't even brought it with him into Midgar. He wasn't supposed to be long. And all the resistance he would have faced within these city-walls would have been easily dealt with by hand.

Damn the blonde was fast. How could he swing that blade and move at that speed at the same time? Had they been out-doors, Yazoo thought as he used a chair to swing Clouds sword of track, he would have been able to escape. Be would have been faster. More silent. But as things now where, he was trapped. And to his great frustration, he felt his body giving in. It didn't have the strength for this. He was vaguely aware of someone screaming. If he could just get outside. Pass this fierce man somehow, pass those eyes and get out, perhaps he would be able to disappear. Though it was unlikely. It was still bright outside, and this was Midgar. Street-lights would glow all night and day. There would be no shadows to hide in. Besides, would he even have the strength to run? His breathing came hard and ragged already.

There, an opening! Cloud had been too eager and thrown himself of balance with a miss-placed swing of the blade. Yazoo took the opportunity and tried to drive a foot into the blondes side. But Cloud was too fast to recover. He managed to grab Yazoo by the ankle and throw him around, on to the floor. Something twisted and cracked in Yazoos leg and he knew he was not going to be able to get up again. Cloud hadn't been clumsy, it was a trick, and Yazoo had been too stupid and too worried to notice. He hadn't kept his focus. Damn. Laying on his side, gazing up at those blue eyes, he felt an odd sense of dêja-vu. His thoughts went to his brothers, where they where and what they were doing, and if they would look after each other. He was sure he was going to die when Cloud lifted his sword for a last blow. The scream came closer and then it landed right on top of Yazoo. A small, light, brown-haired angel who had thrown herself un to Yazoos chest, hugging his shoulders while screaming.

"You can't kill him leave him alone!" Tears ran down Marlenes face as she held on to Yazoo with all her strength "You can't kill him why are you fighting you can't"

Cloud looked completely dumb-founded with his sword still raised. Yazoo couldn't breathe.

Sweet, sweet little Marlene….


	7. I'd do anything

AUTHORS NOTES: Nope, didn't go that much faster for me to update this time either.  Sorry, but I'm just swamped by work right now! I'll just cut to the chase; hope you'll enjoy this quite angsty and a little cute chapter of Ashes and Ghosts and thank you for staying with me this long. This is the second to last chapter. One way or another, this story will soon come to an end!

Oh and as always thank you for all the wonderful reviews!

* * *

Kadaj felt that odd tugging sensation in his stomach again. Finding Loz in the corner of his eye, he hurried their tempo as they quickly scouted over the roof-tops of Midgar.

* * *

Yazoo awoke abruptly with a pondering headache. Someone must have cast a level 3 sleep on him; you always had such a headache after that. Unlike Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo was not immune to status abnormalities, though they hardly ever worked on the brothers. But this had been cast with such power that Yazoo had immediately fallen asleep and into the mercy of his captors. Well, Yazoo noted, he wasn't dead, at least not yet.

Judging by the poor lighting, the smell of wet coil and the cold uneven floor his body laid on, they had thrown him into the basement. It was hardly unexpected. The cellar of the house had only one window, so small even for Yazoo to crawl out of, and only one door. The only other way out was to dig right through the stone walls and out into the garden, which was a highly unlikely plan of escape.

Yazoo tried to move – unsuccessfully. His arms had been bent back in a very painful position, and whoever tied him (Cloud, Yazoo guessed) hadn't been satisfied with just a normal rope around the wrists, no. The entire length of his arms had been tied together with what felt like leather belts or some other rough, hard material like it. His legs had been treated in the same way and from the waist down Yazoo looked like some kind of bondage mermaid. Breaking free would have been a strain even if he'd been at full strength. Now, he judged it almost impossible. He almost cursed out loud.

Something moved at his side. A little soft bundle of warmth, pressed against his chest. Softy shivering and half-draped in Yazoos hair. He turned his head down to the best of his mobility.

"Marlene?" he whispered.

A faint sob came as an answer.

"Marlene, what are you doing here?" he continued "The floor is really cold, you'll get sick"

"Imnoblevingu" came the mumbled answer.

"What?"

Marlene raised her head and in the light of his own glowing eyes he looked into her tear-stained little face.

"I'm not leaving you!" she repeated with admirable strength.

"Marlene…"

"No!" she exclaimed, burying her small hands in his hair "I don't care what Cloud says. He doesn't know you. He didn't see what you did! He doesn't se you! Not like I do! And I won't leave so don't ask me to!"

And he didn't.

* * *

"You don't understand!" Tifa screamed "He's not like him! Without him everyone would be…!"

"I know" Cloud answered calmly "But he's just like him"

Tifa's breath came hard and uneven. She was angry, no furious at Cloud and his emotionless manners. Not as much for his intention to kill Yazoo, as for his complete lack of reaction.

"_It's just as it's always been, since_ she_ died"_ Tifa thought while glaring at Clouds unmoving figure and looking into his empty eyes "_Please, please be angry! Be shocked, be scared, be sad for Sarah and Aeris and Zack and even Sephiroth if you like! Scream at me, cry, hate me if you must but feel _something_! You've kept it all inside for you for so long that it stopped hurting. You don't feel anymore. You don't think I notice but I do! You don't think I know what you're thinking, but I do! I always have! You don't want me to know you're sick too. You don't want me to know you wish for it to end you. But I do! And I feel all the pain you're too stubborn or too stupid to feel! I mourn Aeris for you, I hate for you and I love these children for you, until you're able to do it yourself. I hate you! I hate you so much it hurts! But I love you all the same, and it hurt just as much. I hate you, I love you and I'll never be able to let you go and you will never be able to let _her _go so we're stuck like this and it will _always_ be like this and you will tear me down and it will be the end of me. I hate you, I want to hurt you just to get a reaction! And I will never tell you I love you."_

"If he's just like Sephiroth, then so are you!" Tifa screamed, tears burning in her eyes. And finally, he twitched, a quick shot of hurt in his eyes. A reaction from beneath that stone mask.

"I'm not" he answered quietly.

"Yes you are!" Tifa continued "You have Jenovas genes, you have her power. Just like Yazoo. You just didn't get the eyes and the hair! But you're like him too!"

He was hurt.

"_Yes! Feel it! Feel the pain like I feel it for you!"_

"You're planning on killing people on sight for the good of the planet, just like he did"

"It not the same"

"It's exactly the same! You're just too self-absorbed to see it!"

Cloud took a step towards her, and for a second, Tifa though he was going to hit her. But he stopped, his eyes trailing away and his expression fading back to stone.

"I will kill him" he said calmly "I won't let him turn out like Sephiroth"

He walked away without touching her. Tifa managed to hold back the tears, she always did.

_I hate you_

* * *

AUTHOR: Yeah, I know it was short. Sorry.

Music for this chapter; Bon Jovi – "In and out of love"


	8. There is nothing like you

AUTHORS NOTE: Here it is. Can you believe it? The last part of the story. The big finally. I loved writing this chapter, and I hope you'll love reading it. You've surly waited long enough for it. Again, I'm sorry for the almost 6 month long wait for this chapter. The full explanation for the slow update can be read at my presentation-site. This is an extra long chapter, and hopefully you're exited to read it. So enough with the chit-chat.

Here it is; the final part of Ashes and Ghosts. Enjoy!

* * *

Kadaj silently watched, a sting of jealousy piercing his heart at the sight of the two bodies at the floor. Yazoo never touched any human being voluntarily; he usually hated the mere thought of it. At times, he wouldn't even touch Kadaj. Yet here he was, tied from hand to foot, but his head protectively bowed over the small frame cuddling next to him, sobbing quietly. He instantly hated that child and wanted to rip her away from him. Yazoo and Loz was all he had, and he couldn't, wouldn't, loose them to anyone. They were all _he_ had and he should be all _they _had! Angry suddenly, he considered making his way down the stairs and killing the girl. He held no sympathy for those who tried to take his brothers from him, weather it was with violence or sympathy. They where _his!_

He almost took a step, but then stopped in mid air, suddenly scared of himself. What where these thoughts? He should be happy to find Yazoo seemingly unharmed, but instead he thought of killing small children. Just out of spite. The radical mood-swings. Maybe it was another sign that time was running out on him? Like those smells? It was stronger here then it had ever been, and it nauseated him. And the worst part was that he couldn't place it. It was unlike any other fragrance and it just seemed to fleet in the air around him without any centre or midpoint. And even though it sickened his body, his mind was alert. So alert that it almost tormented him, noticing the slightest detail and the lowest sound or the smallest shift in temperature.

But he supposed that those sharpened senses was the reason that he had manage to move trough the entire building, from the window on the second floor from witch he had entered, to the basement door without being noticed by the arguing couple, even tough it was still mid afternoon. The sun wouldn't set in another hour or so, and then the electrical lights would flick on. He'd left Loz outside and instructed him to act as back-up if something would go wrong, so now he was positioned right outside the front door, his back pressed against the facade. Kadaj was clearly aware of his position, as he was Yazoo's. The thing that confounded him the most though, was that he could also sense the male who was currently being scolded just a thin wall away. The fact that he could feel him too could only mean one thing, but Kadaj had no time to dwell on it.

"Brother" he softly called out, as he started to quietly move down the stairs.

* * *

Yazoos head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice and trough the curtain of his now dirty silver hair he stared at his younger brother and an overwhelming mix of utter joy and deep fear filled him. There was something different about Kadaj, as he descended the stairs as quietly and elegant as a feline predator. Something about this aura had changed, and it sent a chill down his spine, even tough his heart was filled with warmth.

Marlene, who had fallen half-asleep at his side, had not yet noticed Kadajs presence and underneath the gaze of his brother, he suddenly felt guilty being positioned so close to this child. No one except Kadaj and maybe one or twice Loz, had ever been this close to him. Self-conscious all of a sudden, he moved his head away from Marlene, but the movement caused his hair to brush over her face, causing her to moan and flicker her eye-lids.

"Yazoo…" she said weakly "What…"

Kadaj was over her in a split second. One movement of his hand a word from his lips and her eyes fell shut and her body fell limp. Icy cold horror struck Yazoo. Just like that she was dead!

Then her chest rose and fell. Yazoo breathed out a lung-full of air.

"Don't worry" Kadaj said, keeping his gaze locked at his brother "I just put her into a light sleep"

Yazoo nodded weakly and for a second he met Kadajs gaze, before looking away. He'd never felt this woundable in his life, not on the lab-tables as a child, not even with Cloud hovering over him and the dark presence of death looming over him. There was something new in those eyes, which he had never seen before.

"Kadaj…" he breathed, unsure of what to say next.

Silence fell between them as Kadaj kneeled by his brothers side. Lightly, he brushed the hair out of Yazoos face.

"Tell me" Kadaj said, and his voice was anxious now "Tell me you can sense it too. Tell me you smell it as well"

Yazoo looked up at his brother, who in an instant had changed from that fear-striking creature into his fragile baby brother, so in need of approval and comfort. His eyes where scared, scared of the answer Yazoo might give.

_He needs me. He needs me so badly!_

"Yes, Kadaj. I do" he answered.

Tears of relief flooded Kadajs eyes and a pale smile came to his lips. He bent down so far that their foreheads touched.

"Thank you" he whispered.

_There is nothing like you. _

"We have to get you out of here" Kadaj continued, wiping away the one tear that escaped his eye-lashes. A small knife appeared in his hand from some of the many holds in his leather suit and he started to cut Yazoos restraint, starting with his arms.

"But how are we going to get out?" Yazoo asked "There is no way except trough the house, and _he's_ up there!"

"I know he is" Kadaj answered quietly "But it won't be a problem"

"How…" Yazoo started, but Kadaj interrupted him

"Don't worry, my brother" he said while cutting the last leather-belt that had held his feel. "There, can you stand?"

Yazoo slowly tried to move his limps, who was stiff and hurt from the rough treatment. He was already half-way a his feet when he remembered the injury he'd got when fighting Cloud. Pain shot up his spine and he fell down on his good knee, Kadaj half-catching him before he completely hit the floor.

"I think my knee is broken" he said with an unflattering grin of pain.

Kadaj didn't answer, he just up the hand he was not using to support Yazoo on his brothers knee. Softly he spoke the words of a Cure. The familiar pleasant heat rushed trough Yazoos body as the wound instantly healed.

"That should be good enough to hold you until we get out of Midgar" Kadaj said, rising to his feet, eyeing the half-shut door. "We better hurry. He's coming."

Kadaj headed for the stairs, and Yazoo was about to follow him. When he tried to get up, he found his hair caught in something. Marlenes clutched little hand.

"Yazoo…" she said, here eyes and voiced still clouded by the drowsiness of the light-level spell "Where are you going?"

"I'm going home, Marlene, with my brother" Yazoo answered quietly.

"You're leaving?" Marlene still had problem with focusing her eyes.

"Yes" he said, looking over to his brother who watched the door as if in a trance "Go back to sleep now"

"Are you ever coming back?" she mumbled.

"No, Marlene, I'm not" he answered softly.

Tears quietly traced their way down her pink cheeks and her grip on his hair loosened as she whispered with closed eyes "But I love you"

The words struck Yazoo as a blow to the heart. No one had ever spoken those words to him before. Feelings, confusing and unfamiliar, welled up inside him. He didn't know how to respond. He just stared at her little face in amazement. She'd made him feel more human than ever before. And now…

He noticed the knife that Kadaj recklessly had left by the cut belts. He reached for it, and gripping it's hilt, he cut off the tangle of hair she was holding, then rose to his feet.

"Goodbye, Marlene" he whispered, but she was already asleep.

* * *

Kadaj hadn't watched or listened, but he knew. The heat was boiling inside him, but he took comfort in the fact that as soon as they were out of this house, his brother would once again be his and his alone. Yazoo quietly took his place by his side, and Kadaj gently brushed his fingers at the naked skin of his brothers hand. Yazoo didn't shy away.

* * *

Cloud never noticed that the door was slightly opened, he was too distracted by the effect of Tifas words. He didn't know that it would hurt so much to hear the things spoken that he himself feared so much.

_I am not like him. And I'll make sure no one suffers because of _him _ever again. I am not like him. _

* * *

Tifa noticed though. But her scream of warning came half-a second to late. The spell struck them both with immense power and they fell next to each other on the wooden floor. Tifa noticed two sliver shadows with sparkling eyes fleeting by her before the world disappeared from her eyes.

* * *

The two brothers met up with the third outside to house. There had been no commotion. No blood had been tasted by the still fertile land. Silently as they had come, the three of them slipped into the gathering night with its flickering neon lights. No one saw them.

Cloud dreamt of Tifa underneath the marvellous night sky. On a never ending flower field she sat playing a piano. Such a familiar melody. A gentle breeze carried her hair.

She was smiling.

_He loved her smile_

* * *

The brothers where back at the lake by witch they had their primitive home. Yazoo sat with his back rested again the trunk of one of the mighty trees. He watched the reflection of the starlit sky on the clear water surface. Kadajs head rested in his lap. Loz was fully awake but lay with his eyes closed next to his brother. The mood was uncomfortable. None of them had spoken a single word on the way back. Yazoo didn't know what to say to Kadaj. To explain what he had done. He wanted to say he was sorry for some reason, but Kadaj seemed beyond words at the moment. He was cold. So distant. What could he do to make it better? What could he say? What had he really watched there in the basement, when he felt that fear? He couldn't take it all back, all the things he had felt, although he felt that he should. He was distantly running his fingers trough the strains of hair which where now shorter then the others. He couldn't take it back.

Loz rose to one elbow, turning his neck so that he was able to se Yazoo properly. He eyed him with a confounded look and then met his gaze.

"Hey, Yazz…" he started "Are you wearing a girl's sweater?"

Yazoo was dumb-struck by the question. He just stared at his older brother. Then Kadaj started snickering. Loz wasn't short to follow.

"Oh shut up both of you!" Yazoo snapped good naturally, a smile coming to his face. He ran his un-gloved hand trough Kadajs hair and breathed in the fresh, cool air. He knew things would get worse, much worse, pretty soon. But he wouldn't dwell on that right now. Now he would saviour the night and the time he spent like this with his brothers, in the shadow of the mighty trees.

_Because sooner or later – memories will be all we have _

Ashes and Ghosts

End

* * *

AUTHORS NOTES (For the last time now peeps):

Wow. I can't tell you how powerful the feeling of finally finishing this is. I know you all waited just as long as I did for an end to this story, and I hope I somewhat made up the long wait. I want to thank all of you who helped to create this story, those who read and told me their thoughts on this and those who started to send threatening mails urging me to finish. Your response has meant more to me then you can ever imagine! Thank you for keeping with me! Special thanks to VampireToy; without whom the idea of the YazooxMarlene plot never would have evolved, Sheridan; Taro who always left such insightful and heart-warming comments, SweetSnowCherryBlossomDarkness who constantly urged me to continue, and all of you who loyaly followed the development of the story even tough I messed up the updates.

I love you all, and I hope this ending will leave you satisfied.

Until next time ///Clownfood


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